As a woman and a single one at that I realize how important looks are. Especially if you are going out on dates. Interestingly, I used to just dress up with minimal effort and turn up. Then I realized men expect more, winter doesn't make it any easier, spend more time on matching my scarves or sweaters to my tops, agonize over earrings, shoes, purse or lipstick shade. Most importantly try to keep all this under 30 mins unsuccessfully. It feels good to look pretty and dress well, get compliments, does make one feel confident. But the more I get into all this the more futile it feels. Its all for naught, in the end its about compatibility with personalities and goals. Men are lucky, they just show up in jeans and shirt or T shirt. They don't have clothes strewn over their bed when they return from their dates. Some of the women I know who are into the clothes and make up spend hours in front of the mirror doing the artful makeup and choosing the right clothes for the occasion. Women who have made beauty a full time job. I know its not easy, I have total respect for them. With clothes, jewelry, shoes , fitness and planning your diet and watching your calories, getting your nails done, hair, waxing and list goes on. I sometimes wonder where they have the time. When all I have energy left after the day is to cook, eat and sleep and maybe read.
But I also realize I have other plethora of things I am interested in that takes my time, aside from my full time job and keeping my house, financial responsibilities, hobbies. I try to dedicate my time for cooking, reading, sketching everyday. 24 hours is not enough to do everything. Somethings end up suffering, either my cleaning schedule or my routine fitness regime. I do realize how much time we women spend on looking good, which is not only temporary but superficial. Men don't need compliments from women all the time to boost their morale, nor do they seek reassurances from the opposite sex. When I talk to men I meet, I am always fascinated with how much traveling they have done, tried variety of sports or the knowledge of finance or history, whatever it may be. They have so much time because they don't spend theirs on superficial stuff, they are busy planning their careers, financial growth, time they spend on learning something new, something more lasting.
I always thought that I needed my time and my thoughts for things that are more important than looking pretty. Then I thought of changing my priorities under peer pressure. Yes, you feel it even in your mid thirties. How many times have I been lectured on trying to make the attempt to look pretty, so "I can snatch a husband "! Sometimes I feel we haven't come out of 18th century. No matter how independent a woman is or whatever she achieves in life, being an arm trophy or eye candy makes her a more desirable candidate. I have decided to stick to being who I am and go out with a smile and some panache. I will make the effort when the occasion requires, but otherwise I need my wits about me to apply myself for more important life decisions. Something that will make a difference and prove beneficial in the long run, something more lasting and meaningful. And if I can't find a date to like my personality as it is, or chooses to judge me on my style or lack of thereof. Maybe he is just not the right person for me. I would rather wait for someone who makes me want to be a better person, but loves me as I am.
NO BEAUTY SHINES BETTER THAN THAT OF A GOOD HEART.
