Fear..of the unknown is always there, lurking beneath the facade of courage.. we all fear "The Future". Be it the immediate future or the one far ahead. We fear it because, we cannot know it, therefore cannot control it.
As we are turning modern , our fears are becoming more prevalent. More and more are turning religious, some looking for answers or peace in their lives, some perhaps seeking refuge. People have started getting tarot readings, numerology is gaining importance, astrology , palmistry have become the norms of the society.
I see more people in the places of worship than i used to before.
I would say its a good sign that people have started believing in their creator. But the pessimistic side of me feels that people are trying to hang on to their belief because they are losing faith in themselves.
Contrary to the impression , I am not an atheist or even agnostic in my beliefs. I am firm believer in the supreme being. I believe that there are things beyond my understanding. Sometimes, no matter how I long to achieve something, or get impatient waiting for something to happen in my life. I realise it will not happen, until the time is right. Having said that, I love reading my astrological predictions for the day, month or year. In my defense, patience is not one of my virtues, neither is meek acceptance of my future. Lets call it thirst for... knowledge.
My trips to astrologer were becoming more frequent to quench my thirst. Of course, provided my astrologer says what I want to hear. Or I feel I just wasted the moolah on a novice. Invariably I am advised to offer some prayer to the deity. Sometimes, they would come up with suggestions of fasting, which was certainly not something I could abide by. Whenever I am told to fast, I start feeling faint like I fasted for days even before the day has begun. In spite of stuffing myself the day before in anticipation of the fast. I dream of all those dishes that are forbidden to eat. I start counting minutes until I can break the fast, which of course seems like eons. That's when I realized fasting is not my cup of tea..Oops!I think tea was forbidden too ! Yikes !
During one of the astrology readings I was recommended to wear a ring. I thought to myself "It's about time !", I had always secretly wished they would tell me to wear some stone
to ward of the negative energies (did I mention i love jewelry? ). With an air of mild curiosity I inquired the details of the ring. I hoped for a nice gold one embedded with stone, preferably diamond, a quick design of the ring flashed in my mind . Imagine the shock and misery felt when I was told to wear an iron one. Huh? iron? For a moment there I thought my hearing was impaired, HOPING my hearing was impaired. I think my dismay was apparent on my face, since he hastened to assure me it was an inexpensive one which one can find street vendors selling. He went on to say that I may have to wear it for the rest of my life. Little did he know I had no intention of buying anything so tacky, let alone wear it for the rest of my life! cheap street jewelerry!! Hmmf !! Here I was dreaming of Tiffanys!
That did it ! I decided to stop my quest for an astrologer with most accurate predictions about my future..whatever happens will be my destiny ! I will accept it . I don't need anyone to tell me their theories , most of which rarely comes true anyway. I was feeling at peace with myself. I felt happy that I had faith in my own abilities and in my GOD. It gave me a self confidence i hadn't felt in a while.
So now its no more astrology..at least as soon as someone gives me the very LAST reading about my new job and marriage...then I am done!
