Tuesday 3 July 2018

Loved and lost!

  I felt like I din’t believe in happy ever afters and true love or soulmates..Then one day he came to my work place. His eyes were red, tears flowing down his face, as he was thanking everyone for all they did for his wife.  He was recollecting how determined she was during our sessions to try. She is probably taking her last breath as I write this. She was a fighter! Even with odds stacked against her, she still continued to be compliant. Even when I was discussing the plans to discharge her home, I knew it was going to be a struggle for them both, if they do make it home. Yesterday, she suddenly seemed to be doing worse and was sent out to hospital while being bagged. This is not the first patient and won’t be the last I lose. I would have worked with them just few hours or days ago then  suddenly, they are gone. Each time it gives me a pause. Some memories remain. It’s impossible to not feel anything or to let it not get to you. Then again the day I stop caring I shouldn’t be in healthcare. Empathy is necessary. 
So why was this a special case ? It wasn’t, but I went back to my office, I was upset. Fortunately everyone had left for the day, it was just me. I cried for him. She will be in a better place, I believe , not hurting anymore, but he will have trouble letting go. They have better married for a long time and been through a lot with each other. He really wanted her home with him. I will always remember them as silent couples content to sit with each other reading their respective books. She loved fiction, like I did and, he was non fiction fan. I enjoyed our talks. I have watched him applying bandage on her legs on her scarred legs, and he did that so lovingly and with so much care, it always made me smile wistfully!  
  It broke my heart to see him so lost today. He had come to take photos of her back , those were the only ones left here in her room, that’s all the memories he had. He couldn’t see her go, so did not want to stay at the hospital. He makes me believe that love does exist. It may not find everyone but, it’s gratifying to know, it does!