The Rendezvous

       She walked cautiously with her two inch heel, mentally berating herself for choosing heels over  flats. She was used to wearing running shoes at work. Last thing she needed today, was to fall  flat on her face. That would make for a lovely first impression! She dressed with care today, for him. It was her first date with him. They had been chatting for a while now but, meeting in person was different.

               She imagined this date numerous times and  it ended differently each time. To say she was excited was an understatement, butterflies in her belly made her nauseous. Maybe it was just as well, she wasn't hungry. One last look in the mirror satisfied her. She had on black skirt  and flame colored  top today concession to her usual casual dressing. Gold hoops adorned her ears , catching light when she flicked her long back hair. A soft red cashmere sweater, served well to keep the chill away. She was not a classic beauty, she had a cute face that looked more youthful when she smiled, which, she often did when his name popped up. She remembered texting him for the first time, he was busy watching game of thrones and texted back saying he would call her another day. That made her laugh.  He hadn't even attempted  to pretend to be busy with some meeting or work. She liked that he wasn't pretentious. He was different from the usual men she dated. She felt so upbeat since she started talking to him. It was not a romance that made her giddy, it was more deep and steady. She blossomed under his attention, spring in her step. She looked forward to his texts every morning  and before bed every night, even stupid ones. Just being silly and being herself. Life was getting  far too serious anyway. He always  very considerate and relaxed, they wouldn't talk too often. She did not feel the need to be constantly in touch throughout the day. Although, he scarcely left her thoughts. Even a text sufficed , they both were working people with social life and commitments, she understood that. Still, there were times she hoped he would call her more often. She never understood why she never called him. It would probably change once they got to know to know each other better and got more comfortable.

    They lived in different cities making it almost impossible to co-ordinate meeting. Then fate intervened and brought him to her city for a conference. Their rendezvous was at a good  restaurant he had chosen and reserved for 7.30 pm. He was to  pick her up at her apartment at 7 O'clock. Every second of waiting that passed was excruciating. It couldn't be 7 soon enough. She sat leafing through the book, unable to concentrate enough for the words to make sense. There was a knock at the door.. 6.40 ? He was early ! She walked to the door and opened it with a smile. There stood a man with a bouquet of lilacs and lilies, a delivery from the nearby florist she recognized. She wordlessly took the flowers then belatedly remembered to mouth a puzzled thank you. She took the flowers and arranged it in a vase, a note fluttered with her name. It was his handwriting, she knew it instinctively although she had never really seen his. She picked the note, this was odd. Why did he not get the flowers himself ? why the note? Her heart was hammering away, she sat on the chair, took a deep breath and opened it and read. She sat staring until her vision blurred and the tears rolled down her cheek and spilled onto the note, smearing the ink. Just then the clock chimed. She glanced at it, 7 O'clock the clock said, mocking her.

Thanksgiving - Food For Thought !

    Today,  when I was feeling a little low, I started watching some TED talks. It wasn't to cheer me up, motivate or inspire me. It was just something to watch because I was bored. Bored, is an emotion I feel more frequently than any others. I cannot handle mundane and monotonous life. Hence, my need to constantly seek variety. 

     I wanted to try and get myself into a better mood and no one can do it besides myself . I like to think of myself as the blend of logic, emotions and practicality (not a perfect blend ) Alas! , perfection doesn't exist . I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, but I don't shut my emotions either. I decided that I am going to celebrate thanksgiving earlier this year. In fact, why should thanksgiving be the only time we are thankful for anything. I am going to break the tradition and do it today. Counting my blessings will probably help lift my spirits up:)

     When we think about things we are grateful for. There are very generic things we think of, family , good health , money , etc.. This is  My list.. Now is the time to stop reading before you nod off . :P    When I woke up this morning the first few minutes awakened most of my senses that I am thankful for and take so much for granted. I open my eyes, the blinds are open and see the sun shining on the roof of the building , the blue skies and the green tress, good morning! I am thankful for my sight. I hear the birds chirping, I am thankful for my sense of hearing ( to all the lovely music my life would have been empty without ).  I feel the warmth my comforter has to offer, shielding me from the chill. I can feel heat and cold. For those who think its not a big deal ask people who have had their brain or spinal cord affected and cannot feel it. I can smile knowing it's Saturday and I can sleep longer . I dig into the covers moving my arms and legs into a more comfortable position. I am thankful for my sense of touch and movement in my body, without pain. I smell my air freshener - ocean breeze(sense of smell). I am thankful for my mind, that is alert and lets me know the day , date  and time of the day without having to look at my cellphone. I think about a hot cup of coffee . I thank my taste buds that can differentiate between Starbucks coffee from the instant coffee made in a hurry. Those first few mins sum up my whole system turning on to let me know I am good, healthy and mobile.

     I am grateful to my family for being supportive and catering to my needs, constantly thinking of my well being. I almost always take them for granted. Because, I know they will always love me  for me and be there for me, no matter what I do. My friends, who over the years since elementary school, have been by my side , some more in spirit than in body. Some have seen me through rough times , wished me well , celebrated my success or lent me a shoulder to cry or a sounding board to vent,  or even  to throw around ideas.    I am thankful for my education for making me not just literate but opening up the whole world to me , expanding my horizons . The ability to read, write and speak , the gift of language , to help understand people and their thoughts or to pen down my own. I am grateful for a having a job , which doesn't just put a roof over my head , food in my fridge , clothes in my closet but also pays for my hobbies. It also helps me appreciate everything I have, looking through  the eyes of my patients. Even on days when going gets tough at job, my colleagues and I love to remind each other that we are lucky to have ONE.

    I am thankful for being born in a  democratic and secular country and raised in a city where I learnt to accept people speaking different languages and following different religions as not any different from me. For giving me the opportunity to study and pursue my destiny, to shape my identity and making me who I am today. I am glad to not be raised in some war torn zone ,having to run away and seek refuge. Or countries where women don't have equal rights as men or are treated like slaves. I am grateful to be in my second home , my adopted country ,which has helped me grow personally and professionally and become a global citizen, grateful for all those who welcomed me and accepted me into their lives here, without prejudice .

 The Bryan Adams's  song  " Here I am , this is me, there is no where else on earth I would rather be " It's not about the city or country , for those in India who were frowning at that . It's about my place in  the life , Every time I forget,  I need to remind myself of the struggle and sacrifices made to get to here.  I am most of all grateful for each day that I get to start over again with a clean slate , erase or learn from my mistakes , seek missed opportunities , make right choices , work harder , love and laugh more , give back to society ,  be kind and generous , make a difference in someone's life. To cherish every blessing that I have - Me ! 

   TO ALL THOSE IN MY LIFE WHO INFLUENCE ME, DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY  - THANK YOU !!