Mom- Your most precious gift!

     Amidst the hustle bustle of mother's day, people planning brunch or dinner for moms, posting pictures on Facebook, made me register that I am several thousand miles away from mine. Although, I speak to my mom almost every other day. It is not the same, its over a year and a half since I have been home. My mom has been my constant support through this ever changing times. My champion when I need one or my shoulder to cry on ( she will cry with me:) ). She is the one I need the most and, she is also the one I take most for granted.  If I say I will return to India she would say "good, come home." If I change my mind and say I probably won't now, she would support that as well. Sometimes that would only prove to amplify my confusion and irritate me, that she is not trying to talk me out of something. But then I realize she is only giving me her full support, even though she doesn't like the idea. Who in this world can selflessly do that besides A MOTHER. Stands by you through everything, even though her opinions may differ from yours. But she keeps aside the differences to support you. Someone who has unflinching faith in your ability to be the best you could be.   

         Mothers are a rare species, to them you always come first. They have learnt to sacrifice everything to make you what you are today. Sacrifices begin with pregnancy giving up food/ coffee and moving on to comfort and sleep, as the child grows up. Stay at home mothers have sacrificed their dreams and careers to be a full time mom, to cater to her family. She chose to make her family a priority.  Some moms continue to work and their struggles are different. There is always guilt of not being able to spend time with kids, like they wanted to. Not being able to attend the school functions and seeing their precious baby grow up. They sacrifice their dreams to take care of their own kids, only to give their children a better life. I also see single mothers, juggling the roles of  a mother, breadwinner and a father, all rolled into one. Wearing several hats everyday, always trying to make their son's or daughter's life perfect. No mothers have it easy, whether they are stay at home moms or working mothers. They are always being judged and compared. As you grow, you always have complaints about mothers. You always compare your mom to other moms. Working mother's kids wish their mom was home more. Stay at home mom's kids wished their mother was working mother. As you become adults and have kids you realize what motherhood means and learn to appreciate the strength with which they took care of you. She made it seem so easy. My mom makes the best .......(you can fill in the blank). Mother and food usually go together. No one makes some dish as good as your mother. I enjoy cooking and learnt it at an early age watching my mom. Although I am a decent cook, I still can't get the same taste. I guess the secret ingredient is probably the mother's love. They cook so passionately for their kids, no matter how sick or tired they are. That is a mother for you, perfect is her own way. 

   Blessed to have a mother who is my best friend, my critique, my psychologist, my sounding board, my recipe book, my calendar and reminder, my strength and my weakness, my cheerleader, my inspiration and the list could go on... If I can ever be half as good as my mother, my future kids would be lucky.

For every mother out there, Happy Mother's Day !
For everyone else, don't wait till mother's day to appreciate your Mom. Let Everyday be one.

circle of life

An angel is born and life begins..

she laughs and she giggles,
The joy of having her triples.
Teenage years are a conundrum,
She is neither a girl nor a woman.

She graduates with laurels,
Out of the cocoon like a butterfly,
Career dreams to reach the sky.
Finds a man and falls in love,
Time to give her away has come.

An angel is born and life begins..
               

Disillusioned Human to an Enlightened Individual

  Fours years ago I stepped on  American soil. Life would change for better (or for worse), I knew. My idea of life in America was probably taken from the Hollywood. People probably do the same with Bollywood. For instance, Slumdog Millionaire (a Hollywood movie) won a lot of accolades. Interestingly it seemed like the only thing people took from it was that India is poor. I would invariably get a lot of questions on poverty and population. Which was funny in the beginning, started getting a little ironic later. For those who believe India is poor - India is a developing country, we have poor people, sure, we also have a huge population and it definitely is tough to provide amenities for everyone. Yes, there are slums in the cities in India, and there is filth , it is crowded and hot. All true... India also has billionaires and middle class people, educated people who speak english perfectly well, India is rich in its varied culture and landscape with scenic beauty and not to mention good food ;) .

   What most Americans don't see or have turned a blind eye to is the poverty in their own country. Just because you drive luxury cars and have big houses, doesn't mean everyone else does. Being a therapist, I have been fortunate to experience small towns life and, worked in rural areas. Treated patients living in posh houses to Homeless who lived in cars(temporarily staying at friends place with 10 other people). I have seen more than I bargained for. Treated patients in sketchy areas. I had to see my patients in later in the day  when trouble makers were hopefully asleep. I did not carry even a pepper spray since, it was considered weapon (Cellphone and 911 was my only hope, if things went awry). I hold no illusions! There are hoarders where you can't step into their house, literally. Some houses are so filthy, you feel you need for a hazmat suit before you enter, with it stinking to high heavens. There are pan handlers here, like the beggars in India, living under the bridge (some better dressed than others). Most unemployed are not because they cant get jobs (Before foreigners are blamed for taking the local jobs), they choose not to. Circumstances can affect your life and at times the choices you make. But you have control over your own destiny. If your life is not the best. It's probably partly the result of your own choices. I would see young people just whiling away time smoking and drinking beer while watching television, instead of making a effort to find work. I have heard too many stories from my patients. Some, where the mothers/fathers and grandmothers/fathers still support adult sons and daughters or even have custody of their grandchildren. It definitely is saddening to see such disappointment on their faces to be earning member in their 70's and 80's. There are also hard working  people who hold two full time jobs. Struggling to make ends meet. I am constantly amazed by their strength. My problems seem so inconsequential. There are all sections of people you come across, with different ideologies. 

  What I take from my experiences, working in two different countries, is that life is not all that different. People are similar, emotions are still the same, more openly expressed here, guarded in India. They just speak different languages. Everyone has their own cross to bear, so to speak. I am glad to have had the opportunity to work and help people. Spread some smiles and, share their  sorrows while getting them stronger. Sometimes, having someone to talk to makes all the difference in the mental state.  I believe, I have matured in my thinking with all the struggles I see around me. Most of my patients have taught me something. Either with their pearls of wisdom or learning from their mistakes. I have learnt to be less prejudiced, less judgmental and learnt to appreciate people for who they are. Rather than superficial things like, where they come from, what languages they speak, how much money they earn. They have taught me to be empathetic and sensitive.  Knowledge is power and light but, the more you know, the more you realize you know less than you think. I still have some prejudices, preconceived notions and, still fall prey to hasty judgments. As I grow older I hope to grow wiser....