Adulting .. I have seen this word so many times on Instagram posts and memes, its always a funny verb albeit does bring with it a sense of responsibility. Something you always thought your parents had it figured out. I was seeing a post on a fifteen year old Indian American who has apparently has had major accomplishments which most of us hadn't even thought of. I suddenly realized that she could have been my daughter and, that's when it really hit me! That I am indeed slowly inching towards middle age ( dragging my feet, kicking and screaming and sometimes head down and shoulders braced for whatever is coming my way)
I unfortunately don't even know when I hit adulthood, let alone middle aged one at that, and so my pondering begins...When exactly do we become an adult? When we turn 18 , with right to vote (and change the world) and drive, or is it 21 when we can legally get married ( and embark on an adventure), drink ( responsibly, I hope). Maybe its 25 when you finally get a job after your masters and start paying taxes (And complain how underutilized the tax money is and how corrupted the officials are). Or when we get married and have kids( definitely hope you are an adult by then). But what of those of us who aren't married or have kids? Do we get to stay a kid for the rest of our lives? My logical side begs to differ as suddenly in your wrong side of thirties two things hit you . One is that you will retire soon in less than 2 decades hopefully which will fly by judging by the speed at which the past 2 decades have flown. I still remember taking admission in the college, standing uncertain and being clueless as to what my future holds. 20 years later, I still seem to be experiencing similar emotions. I am still pondering on how to make millions before I retire (Only partly kidding). Debating the personal/ professional choices you have made in the past or contemplating the future of your career graph or the lack of there of. The second one is the most popular faced by millennials evidently- existential crisis. Spiritual exploration ends up being a more complex one, when you start contemplating the purpose of your existence or your calling in life.
You realize you have none of that figured out, or even understand the basics of it. You always thought there was time. You will deal with it when you are an " ADULT". Evidently I am one by popular opinion, although for the most part I don't feel like one, I almost wish there was a cheat sheet and an exam before they gave you the title. Adulting evokes in me another emotion.. Fear. My biggest fear ? .. Regret. I don't want to regret the time wasted. I already have a bag full. Regret of not pursuing passions or the courage to defy the societal norms. Regret of not following the dreams, Regret of not expressing to the loved ones. Regret of not keeping in touch with old friends and relatives. Regret of never asserting oneself . I once read that you never regret things you have done, its usually things you haven't. I realize that by experience to be a word of truth. How would life have been if you had done exactly as you wanted to, maybe things would have been better or, worse and maybe you would have regretted taking that path....But wouldn't your baggage be so much lighter, without the burden of regrets and dreams that never took flight?
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